Day 21- Holding Our Baby

Getting to hold your own baby is a gift. A gift that I cherish, you don't realize what an incredible thing it is until you can't do it.

In order for us to hold our little guy he had to be off the ventilator (he was put on the ventilator during surgery, day 12; 12 Days Old Blog Entry).  The ventilator would breath for him and keep his lungs expanded against the extra pressure from the closure surgery.

He was on the ossiliating ventilator for a week, they have to keep him really sedated while on this ventilator so his body wont fight against it, there was some debate on whether he was ready for the next step, being put on a conventional ventilator. They went ahead and did it (he had some awesome nurses who were fighting for him). That was on thursday(day 19), almost one week after his closure surgery.

Two days later (Saturday) as we were driving to the hospital I was on the phone with my sister Heather (the one who wrote the BIRTH STORY, Birth Story Blog Entry - that made all of us cry and laugh). I told her we would probably have to wait another week till we could hold him (till he was off the ventilator). I was a little discouraged but willing to be patient.

The moment we walked in our nurse excitedly said, "TODAY IS THE DAY! We are getting him off this ventilator and you are going to hold your baby!!!". I was completely shocked.

As the motherly tears of excitement started welling up and pouring down my face, my first thought  was..... "Today is the first day for me to put on mascara, what a bad day for mascara."

3 hours later it happened, I was holding my precious baby

He was wide awake, happy, and alert. He looked straight into my eyes. We were having some serious bonding time. (for the past week he was so swollen he couldn't really open his eyes, plus all the drugs kept him pretty out of it). But as we held him he was so aware and so connected. He didn't close his eyes for the next 4 hours. Jordan and I spent the time with him in our arms just soaking it in.

He was still awake and still calm and content when we hesitantly left. He fell right to sleep 10 minutes later. 4 hours is a long time for a newborn to stay awake especially for a newborn on morphine and sedatives. But he knew this was important and he didn't want to miss it.

Holding Bridger was an anniversary gift. Sunday August 17th was our 7 yr anniversary. With all the commotion of life we hadn't really given much thought to our anniversary. But God made sure we got an anniversary gift.

 After leaving the hospital we got Carter (our 2 yr old) and went out on a date. We rode our bikes to the Hawaiian Ice Stand around the corner from our house. We were celebrating our awesome family and the great adventures we have had over the last 7 yrs. This little adventure we are having with Bridger is strengthening our marriage and our love for each other.

I am so grateful to have Jordan as mine. He is amazing and such a great support. As I watch him take on his role as father to both of these boys I fall deeper in love with him. I can't believe I am lucky enough to have someone as strong, devoted, loving, and fun. I have been blessed.

We are so excited for the progress Bridger is making. But, there are still quite a few steps before we get to take him home. And there is no time table, it is all dependant on him and he seems to take his time.

Bridger's Steps of Progression

✔Intestines put in Silo (day 1)

✔Closure Surgery (day 12)

✔Off the ventilators (day 21)

✔Held by mom and dad (day 21)

✔Weened off sedation (day 23)

Weening him down/off paid meds

Weening him down/off oxygen support

Hear bowl sounds (tummy grumbles)

Poop

Introduce food

*Tolerate food (digest food)

Nursing

Take our baby home

*We are praying that his digestive system will work properly and that he won't need any further surgeries.